Journal Entry #4-Viewpoint

Viewpoint

            Viewpoint and perception have become a big realization in my life lately.  One of my dear friends always told me that perception affects everything and I agreed with that for the most part, but I didn’t always really believe it.  For a long time after my divorce I as depressed and I was comfortable there.  I wanted to stay depressed and I didn’t want to admit that, so I stayed in my victim mentality by keeping my perception and viewpoint in the victim viewpoint.

I didn’t realize how strong my mind is and how capable I am of changing my life by changing my perception.  Once I realized this and decided to be grateful, my life has been changing.  My viewpoint is now from a place of gratitude for what I do what and my ability to change my life.  I now know that my mind can be strong and that my circumstances don’t make me happy; it’s my attitude that dictates my feelings.

I am finding that since I’ve tried to come from a different viewpoint than I had before I have less patience for some people.  I have a good friend that always seems to be miserable and that if something bad is going to happen, it’s going to happen to him.  I have realized that it’s not that crappy stuff happens to him, or that it happens more to him than others, it’s that he finds the bad in everything and he dwells on it.  I’m realizing that is’ not that bad stuff happens to him and not other people, it’s that he makes a bigger deal out of everything, so it seems that more negative comes his way.

For people that have a different viewpoint, they can have a bad situation happen, but it resulted in a learning experience instead of a negative one.  The other option is that they don’t dwell on the situation and don’t even bring it up to those around them. It appears that they don’t have the same issues that others have, but it’s just that they have a different perspective on it.

I keep finding myself come to the same conclusion on everything since I’ve started my teacher training.  My mind is stronger than any emotion and I can fight through my depression by changing my perception.  I am strong and I deserve to be happy.  I will continue to stress about money, my children, my relationships.  That is what life is.  It’s a series of stresses that can either make or break you depending on your viewpoint.  I will not let life get me down and win this battle.  I will be stronger than my circumstances because I know that I am powerful.  I know that my life holds a greater purpose than what I see in front of my face.  Choosing to change my viewpoint has been the greatest gift that I could ever be given.  It’s the greatest gift that my family could be given.  My husband no longer has to worry about me and what my next action will be because of my depression.  When I get sad or depressed, I honor the feeling and explore it, but I don’t allow myself to wallow and I look for the good in what is happening.  If I find that it’s truly an unnecessary feeling, I change my viewpoint.  It’s not always easy, and it’s taken a lot of practice, but I believe now that perception is reality.

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