Journal Entry #11
Compulsion & Delayed Gratification
As humans we all seem to have our own compulsions. Desires to do certain things that make us feel centered or whole, or just good, and they can be completely different than the next person’s compulsions. The question for me is: Is compulsion different from Addiction? I’m not sure. I can’t really say that I have any other compulsion other than the fact that I LOVE to have a few glasses of wine each night. But, at the same time, if I run out of wine, I make a special effort to be sure to have it and that I don’t go too long without it. Often times I find myself saying that I am going to have a wine free week, but I can’t ever get past the first night or two. Is that compulsion or addiction?
The other side of compulsion and addiction is the thought of delayed gratification. I have a couple of friends that seem to have this theory down. They do a fall and spring lent. It is not associated with any religion; they just practice giving something up that they know is not good for them. Now, they are pretty amazing in general and don’t seem to have any compulsions or addictions, so they have to get creative with what they give up. Erin gave up driving for a month. James gave up pizza. They seem to know how to deal with delayed gratification. They use the time to give things up as a time of reflection and a time to re-appreciate what they have. They know that they will have what they gave up again. I don’t seem to have the same ability. I definitely have a hard time with delayed gratification. I know logically that I will be better off for giving my body a rest form my compulsions/addictions, but my emotions and feelings are so much stronger than my mind and my logic.
I know that I will benefit from cutting down on my wine compulsion/addiction and I know that it does not serve me fully and that it is holding me back from certain things. It keeps weight on my body and keeps me unhealthy. I know this, so I will continue to work on the strength that my mind has to overcome my compulsions/addictions.