Journal Entry #14-Giving Thanks

Katie Willden

YTT III

Journal Entry #14

 

Giving Thanks

 

            Today, as I was practicing my sequence to instruct to my Yoga I classmates, I found that my original intention for the practice no longer felt appropriate for what I have been feeling and reflecting on from this past semester.  I initially felt the need to do an empowerment sequence, but I now feel that giving thanks is much more appropriate.

            This last semester has been one of strength and growth and no doubt empowerment.  But I am feeling so much gratitude for this experience.  I feel so much gratitude for my ability to change my life through yoga.  I feel so much gratitude for my authenticity. 

            If there’s anything I want to get across to people is the pure power of being authentic.  I am by no means where I want to be in my life, but I am learning more and more to be less apologetic for being who I am.  It became a habit of trying to please others, and I stopped knowing who I really am.  My identity became so wrapped up in others that it made my already bad depression worse. 

            I have let the fear of being vulnerable stop me from really trying to peel the layers back to find out who I really am.  But, with each layer I peel, my authenticity becomes more apparent and I feel better and better with who I am.  I feel much more empowered to make decisions for myself without questioning my decision incessantly.  I am feeling less and less vulnerable to let people know who I really am. 

            I am a mother of five kids in a crazy, loud blended family.  I’m a self proclaimed hip hop head and I especially love “gangsta” rap and 2 Chainz is my celebrity crush.  I am a Pisces and feel very connected to my sign.  I’m sensitive, emotional and very introspective yet I love to party and go crazy every now and then. Being pregnant and having a newborn are my absolute favorite times in my life and I secretly hope that my husband will let us have another baby someday.  I want to heal as many people as I can and I feel very strongly that yoga is the best place for me to start because I have been able to start healing myself.

            I am so grateful for so many things in my life, but mostly I’m thankful for the work I’ve been doing on being more authentic.  It has transcended all areas of my life and I a can truly say that I am happy again.

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